原创 搞笑段子,笑死人不偿命,做饭的艺术,做饭的艺术
<h1 style="color: black; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 10px;"><span style="color: black;">1聪明的猴子</span></h1>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;">猴子对<span style="color: black;">伴侣</span>说:“我<span style="color: black;">每日</span>都看到人类在猴山前拍照。”<span style="color: black;">伴侣</span>问:“你不觉得奇怪吗?”猴子笑道:“<span style="color: black;">她们</span>可能在想,<span style="color: black;">咱们</span>是不是<span style="color: black;">她们</span>的祖先。”</p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><img src="//q2.itc.cn/images01/20240829/14cf7ebb29574536abf4cbf78fbbd96f.png" style="width: 50%; margin-bottom: 20px;"></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;">2做饭的艺术</p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;">我尝试自己做饭时,总是把菜做得很咸。于是我决定:“做饭的艺术在于<span style="color: black;">怎样</span><span style="color: black;">掌控</span>盐的量!”</p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><img src="//q4.itc.cn/images01/20240829/4a424ea660ab46b49bc159fd49e5ef5c.png" style="width: 50%; margin-bottom: 20px;"></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;">3网购的反击</p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;">每次网购后,我妈都问:“你怎么买这么多没用的东西?”于是这次我买了个话筒,专门用来反驳:“是的,我<span style="color: black;">便是</span><span style="color: black;">爱好</span>买没用的东西。”</p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><img src="//q2.itc.cn/images01/20240829/3ab10aaaf3b94b30aa61170af2d36a8c.png" style="width: 50%; margin-bottom: 20px;"></p>
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<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;">4午休的<span style="color: black;">愉快</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;">每当我在办公室午休时,总有同事说:“你怎么总是睡这么久?”我一边打哈欠一边回答:“这是为了保持充沛的精力,毕竟你们的午休时间<span style="color: black;">仅有</span>一个小时,我的午休时间是24小时!”</p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><img src="//q5.itc.cn/images01/20240829/640dc6fd2d6b4ed0a3dab36e8d8419f2.png" style="width: 50%; margin-bottom: 20px;"></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;">5打工的现实</p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;">我上班时总是很认真,老板夸我很<span style="color: black;">奋斗</span>。其实我心里明白,我只是把在家里的懒惰都转移到工作上。于是我就把<span style="color: black;">每日</span>的工作<span style="color: black;">目的</span>定得很高,<span style="color: black;">这般</span>一来,老板觉得我<span style="color: black;">特别有</span>干劲!</p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><img src="//q9.itc.cn/images01/20240829/3ca3618740144703814305fd544c496e.png" style="width: 50%; margin-bottom: 20px;"></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;">6家庭聚会</p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;">家庭聚会时,<span style="color: black;">大众</span>总<span style="color: black;">爱好</span>讨论<span style="color: black;">各样</span>奇怪的<span style="color: black;">专题</span>。我只能默默地坐在角落里,想着:“我是不是应该学会<span style="color: black;">怎么样</span><span style="color: black;">作为</span>一个不<span style="color: black;">那样</span>沉默的人?”</p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><img src="//q2.itc.cn/images01/20240829/a7a84cd87109465591c6b63baa009e5a.png" style="width: 50%; margin-bottom: 20px;"></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;">7打<span style="color: black;">tel</span>的挑战</p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;">昨天打<span style="color: black;">tel</span>给客服,刚接通就被问了<span style="color: black;">各样</span>问题。我一边回答,一边<span style="color: black;">发掘</span>自己越来越像是一个被<span style="color: black;">实验</span>的对象。客服的声音越来越公式化,回答<span style="color: black;">亦</span>越来越不真实。最后我干脆放空脑袋,随机回答,结果竟然意<span style="color: black;">外区</span><span style="color: black;">经过</span>了所有问题,客服那边竟然还夸我“回答准确”。看来,<span style="color: black;">tel</span>客服的考验<span style="color: black;">便是</span>让人习惯在“随机应变”中求<span style="color: black;">存活</span>。</p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><img src="//q2.itc.cn/images01/20240829/23b0849648eb413fb96c74187679f8fa.png" style="width: 50%; margin-bottom: 20px;"></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;">8 键盘的无奈</p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;">键盘<span style="color: black;">近期</span>对我说:“每次我敲字都得小心翼翼,你们的手指总是<span style="color: black;">那样</span>粗糙,敲到我好痛!”我试图安慰它:“别担心,你是最坚强的。”它幽幽地说:“<span style="color: black;">期盼</span>有一天我能‘解放’!”</p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><img src="//q5.itc.cn/images01/20240829/af68706595c44920a11d1f793ee42045.png" style="width: 50%; margin-bottom: 20px;"><a style="color: black;"><span style="color: black;">返回<span style="color: black;">外链论坛: http://www.fok120.com</span>,查看<span style="color: black;">更加多</span></span></a></p>
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<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">责任编辑:网友投稿</span></p>
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